I want to tell people how I feel but too many people have me on a pedestal. Yes I follow Christ, yes I have struggles and I question God at points. I’m still human and I’m not perfect. It’s hard to open up to people because they have this certain view of me and when I don’t live up to it then they get all crazy.
I wish it were more socially acceptable to say that I’m confused and am having a hard time with so many things right now. I hate the notion that it’s not okay to have a perfectly executed life plan or that not being amazingly successful at 24 is going to mean I’m doomed for the rest of my life.
I’m ready for a new culture in this country.
(via dawb)
Trusting God
youmakemeliedowningreenpastures:
Sometimes I feel like I am walking around like this:
So I am like, God, please fix this for me!
And when it doesn’t happen as fast as I want, I feel like this:
And then I think, God has control. God has control.
And then it turns out His plan is way better than mine was and I’m like:
Oh, how I trust you Lord.
(via jenniferaf)
The same doctor who told me that my tumor is benign is the same doctor that told my dad he was constipated when in fact he had colon cancer. Am I concerned…heck freaking yes I am. The fact that I called to schedule an appointment and I got the run around from 2 hospitals all to find out that apparently my dad’s colon surgery is under my name. Then I found out that my oh do great doctor called in a referral for breast surgery. My tumor isn’t in my breast. I called my doctor and one of her nurses laughed as she explained that someone made a mistake on my chart. Honestly 1 mistake too many. Please let my surgeon be better and I pray that I don’t have to deal with all of this crap anymore. Someone freaking just tell me what’s growing in my body already!
So Frustrated!
Feeling like I could drive all the way to Liberty Mountain just to sit at the top and look at the sky. So overwhelmed. Get this tumor out of me ASAP! Stupid insurance.
At Liberty I learned to rely on people and to stop being self sufficient. Then I come home and I feel so alone. Not being surrounded by good friends most hours of the day is hard. Actually not having good friends in this small town sucks.
Spent an entire semester with people who didn’t clean up after themselves and now I come home to people who don’t clean up after themselves…Future husband please know how to clean…I beg you.
I feel like somewhere along the way I lost who I was. I don’t know who I am anymore or what I’m supposed to do or what I am doing currently with my life. I’m in a whirlwind looking for an escape.
The moment when someone says a bad joke about you…
(via lmaogtfo)
